Giving Normal a Try
by chocolateluver14
Summary: This story takes place during season three, and deals with the ideal that when Sydney went missing she was pregnant. What happens when she tells Vaughn? It will be a SVR eventually.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Giving Normal a Try

Disclaimer: Not mine. The characters, with the exception of two, the plot, everything doesn't belong to me. This one takes place in season three.

AN: I wrote this story a while ago, and it was the first one I eve posted. The site I first posted it on has since gone down, so I though I'd post it here, to see if anyone wanted to read it. I have finished it, so I will be posting chapters regurlarly if I get reviews from people wanting to read it. Also- it may begin a bit slowly, but I do think that it picks up in later chapters, so if you like Alias, give it a chance.

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Sydney Bristow has never been normal. In school, she was always the smartest; at least until she stopped having time to study. She stopped having time to study because she joined SD-6, what she thought was part of the CIA. In SD-6 she learned a record making number of languages, how to fight better than her instructor and rose through the ranks faster that anyone could believe. Once she found out she wasn't working for the good guys, Sydney fought to destroy SD-6, joined the real CIA, killed her ex-boyfriend when he turned out to be a murder, went to recover nuclear weapons with her father and mother (who came back from the dead) and finally, fell in love with the one man she was forbidden to have.

Michael Vaughn.

He was her one spot of normalcy in a crazy world. The one spot she could feel peace, comfort and love. Sydney knows she loved Michael Vaughn years ago, and still did today even though he had a wife. They say that ignorance is bliss and maybe they're right, because knowing she loved Michael Vaughn made the confession she was about to make all that much harder.

The two of them were in a safe house, after a recovery mission. It was a typical CIA safe house, minimal furniture, connections to their CIA base and enough weapons to take over a small country. Vaughn was working on a computer and Sydney was reading her book. They hadn't talked to each other since the mission, because there wasn't much for them to say. Finally, once Sydney realized she had read the same page three times, and still didn't know what it said, she decided it was time to talk. "Vaughn?"

"Yeah," he answered, without looking up.

"We need to talk." Taking a deep breath, she continued, "There are two important things I need you to know, but first I need you to promise me something." She felt like she was back in grade school, about to share a secret with a friend who she had missed.

"_I wish I could Sydney. I wish I could promise you any and everything. I wish I could promise you that I wouldn't hurt you. That I could make everything better. You haven't been sleeping, and you've lost weight. That is my fault,"_ thought Vaughn. "What do you want me to promise?"

"Just to let me finish taking, please don't say anything until I'm done; that you will let me finish what I have to say."

"Alright."

"There is no easy way to say this," started Sydney, "so I won't try to talk around it. I think I say Lauren in the club.'

Vaughn began to open his mouth when Sydney cut him off, "You promised. I'm not sure it was her, it was really dark in the club, but once I chased after that girl who shot the contact I got a good look at her. I believe it was Lauren."

"Sydney, I know things haven't worked out for us…"

_The b! How could he say that! HOW COULD HE SAY THAT! _"I can't believe you would think that! How the hell could you think that?!? After all we've been through," shouted Sydney.

"Listen," Vaughn exclaimed. "I'm not sure what you **thought** you saw, but if I do know one thing that one thing is my wife. I KNOW she wasn't in that club."

"That wasn't all I had to tell you."

"Fine. Just get this over with."

Sydney sat scowled at Vaughn, but then composed herself. "I think we may have a child."

"What?" asked Vaughn incredulously. He stood up, and started pacing around the room.

"For the last few months I've been having dreams and just feelings about being pregnant in Covenant custody, and giving birth to a…"

"I don't believe you."

"What part of let me finish do you not understand?" cried Sydney. "This isn't easy for me, and you're just making it harder."

"That doesn't matter. What does is that you are sitting here rambling off stories you made up to serve you! Maybe, just maybe, what you dreamed was just a dream! Not everything can be all about you Sydney. I'm married, like it or not, and you're just going to have to find a way to deal with that. I used to think you were strong, but in the last year all you've been is a spoiled, selfish b." With that Vaughn stormed out of the room to go call the CIA to find out when they could be picked up. He slammed the door after leaving, signifying that he wouldn't be back.

………

Talking on the phone to the CIA, Vaughn reflected on the conversation that had just happened, resulting in much inner turmoil.

_Who did Sydney think she was? Just because she had some "dream" doesn't mean that something is real. This would destroy my marriage, and she knows it. That is why she is telling me this, to get me back._

_Whoa. Did I really just think that? I'll tell you who Sydney is; the woman I love more than anyone else on this earth. The woman who I would do anything for. The woman who I failed, because I promised myself to never cause her pain. She would never just make up something to get me back, as if I'm even worth is. She would never, ever be such a b. _

_My wife would. _

_The why did I tell Syd she would? Oh God, she'll never forgive me. I just yelled at her because I was upset, but even that wasn't her fault! It's not her fault I don't love my wife, that I married the wrong person. I don't deserve her forgiveness. But I am still married to Lauren. When I married her I promised to love her as much as she loved me, and I don't break my promises. Should I try to make things right with Syd?_

_No. She wouldn't let me if I tried. _

………

"Giving birth to a daughter," said Sydney, a tear sliding down her face. "What I was going to tell you was that I remember giving birth to a daughter, and even in the small, dark cell they put me in, even though I didn't have enough food and water for one person much less two, I gave birth to a wonderful, beautiful, healthy baby daughter. I named her Katherine Amelia Bristow, and I will find her with, or without you help."

That afternoon was more painful for Sydney Bristow that anything in the last nine months she had went through. She didn't find out her boyfriend was married, or that she had to work with his wife. What she did find out was that she had truly lost Michael Vaughn, who had been the love of her life. However, it has been said that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and Sydney decided that this would be one of these cases.

_For the last nine months I have been waiting for a man who is never coming back. Me! Sydney Ann Bristow, the girl who swore she would never be "one of those" women. Me! Sydney Bristow, the woman who can kick ass of men twice my size. Me! Syd, who had hopes and dreams, ambitions and plans have put my life on hold, barely scraping by; sleeping less than five hours a night, eating one meal a day, only going to work, nothing more. That ends now. If nothing else this conversation was the kick in the butt I needed. I would wait till the end of time for Vaughn; my rock, my protector, my lover, my friend. But the man in this house isn't Vaughn. Not my Vaughn. It's just taken me this long to realize it. When I get back to LA, I'm going to buy some new clothes, comfy clothes that I can just hang around in. I'm going to start going to see the sun set, and as much as I love Eric, make some new friends. But first and foremost, I'm going to find my daughter. I know she's out there somewhere, I can feel her! Now all I have to do is find her._

And with that, Sydney Bristow picked herself up, and got ready to go back to her house. It wasn't home for her yet, but it would be, soon enough. She was tired of doing nothing but work against bad guys, who just kept coming. It's a noble cause to work for, but there needs to be something else in life. Michael Vaughn was lost to Sydney, leaving just bits and pieces of the man she knew. The Vaughn she had know and loved would of never treated her like that. Some part of Sydney wanted to go over and remind him how strong, and kick ass she could be. But a bigger part of thought, if she could find her daughter, they're daughter; she could always have a part of him from before he changed, from the man she loved. So that is what she decided to do.

Sydney Bristow decided to give being normal a try.

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TBC? Review and let me know

Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

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Sydney's POV:

As soon as I got home from Berlin I started looking for my daughter. First I talked to my Dad, but he knew nothing about it. He promised to help me as much as he could, but was sent on a vital mission immediately after we had that talk, and just got home a couple days ago.

Next, I went to talk to Dixon. He is currently my director, was my partner and is and always will be my friend. He told me I could take as much time off from work as I needed to look for my daughter, and that I had all of the CIA's resources at my disposal. One of the many things I love about Dixon is that he put his total faith in me, and when I told him I knew, just knew I had a daughter; he didn't question me at all. That made me begin to realize that once I had left the safe house, and after the flight home in total silence, I had expected to build my life up again from nothing, and that is not true. I have friends, good people who care about me and have been supporting me for the last nine months, and who will continue to do so. Possibly greatest of those friends is Eric Weiss, which is who I told next.

I remember that talking to him; he wasn't as accepting as Dixon was. He questioned me about my dreams, and in doing so, made me remember even more. I concentrated on the small memories I had, and after a while, I more memories came to me. Once that started, it was like a chain reaction, and all sorts of memories started flooding my mind. After a long talk with Eric and some convincing on my part I hadn't been drinking that much, he jumped on in to help me, as I knew he would.

Eric Weiss is the best friend of my ex-boyfriend, and one might think that because of that relationship, we couldn't be friends. One could never be more wrong. Eric has been my support for the last nine months, as well as those two weeks I'd spent looking frantically for my daughter. He is always there for me, no matter what, and has held me when I cried and made me laugh when I'm at my angriest. In short, I don't know what I would do without Eric, because he has become the brother I never had.

As I said, after talking to Eric I began to remember more about my "missing years." I remembered my cell, and the man who shared it with me. During the nine months we spend together in a very small cell, we became close friends. His name is, of all the names out there, Joey. I would be scared except he can barely boil water, so making pizza wasn't an option.

During year after I convinced the Covenant I was Julia Thorn Joey, who also worked for the CIA, was my partner. We worked together, played together, laughed and cried and yelled together. However, we didn't fall in love. We didn't make love, date or even kiss. We had both lost the people we cared about, and weren't interested in finding anyone else. I remember driving, in LA, only wanting to find Vaughn and tell him I was alive. Seeing him with Lauren, kissing. Seeing the Covenant following him and wanting to keep him, and my daughter Katie safe. I never told Joey about Vaughn, he never told me about the one he lost. We silently agreed that it was territory that shouldn't be explored.

Above all else, I remember my daughter Katie. I called her Katie. She has her father's eyes, so piercingly green, when she looks at you; it's as if she can see into your soul. She has brown hair like me, and can never sit still. Katie hardly ever cried, just when she was hungry. She was always looking around, taking the world in, observing everything around her. Once she learned to crawl she was everywhere, always curious, looking for new places to explore. Come to think of it, if she is a beautiful, intelligent, curious toddler, just imagine how she will be once she goes off to elementary school or collage! I can see quite a busy time in my future is she keeps all these traits going into her teens, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Katie was the one light that kept me going, all through the time I was Julia Thorn. No matter what happened, when I came home, she was there with unconditional love in a way that only a child could. When I went back the apartment we shared, it felt like home because someone I loved lived there, and they loved me. I never told Kendall about her, because I didn't want her to be taken away by the CIA. If she was, the Covenant would know I was working for the CIA and kill both of us. I would die to keep her safe, and in this case it turned out I just had to withhold information.

It took me about a week to remember all that. I still don't remember everything, and I don't think I ever will. Part of what I do remember is that the operation I voluntarily went through was designed to only remove my memories relating to The Cube, and of the secrets of Rambaldi. The doctor who did the surgery intended for me to keep the rest of my memories, but he messed up somehow. I would be angry, after paying him so much money, and home much pain that mess up caused me, but what's done is done, and I can't go back to fix it. However, now I have the memories I was planning to keep, so I can get my daughter back.

I left her with Joey, the man I had learned to trust. The CIA told me he was working for our side, but after spending all that time with him, I knew Katie would be left in good hands. I was ready to get her back, and Joey was ready, as much as he loves her, to get on with his life. To move on with his life, like I'm doing. It took a lot of searching, but I got in touch with him, and that's what he told me; he loves Katie dearly, and wants to be able to visit her often, but is ready to pass the parenting on to me.

So, there I was on a Saturday afternoon, waiting in Fran's old restaurant to see my daughter for the first time in nine months. Eric was there with me, since he helped with all the work it took to track Joey down. Dad, my dad was there because I want him to meet his granddaughter, and I want Katie to know her grandpa. Dixon, Marshall and Carrie are here too if for no other reason than I want them to meet her. I would be nervous, but I think back to when she was first born; how I didn't know how to feed her, or change her diaper, but I learned. Now she can tell me what she wants, how she's feeling and what she's thinking; after taking care of a baby, this will be easy; or at least not as hard.

"So Syd, you're going to be a mom. I always know you would make a great one. You're so smart and kind, any child you have is going to be lucky to have you for a parent," says Marshall, for once keeping it short and sweet.

"I know! It's amazing for me, to go from Agent Bristow to Mom. I can't wait though," I replied, almost giddy for the first time in a while.

"I know you're going to want to get to know your daughter Syd, so you can have as much time off from work as you want. I haven't seen you this happy in a while, and I want you to stay like this," commented Dixon, showing yet another reason why I love this man.

"What would I do without you?"

"So Sydney, I get to help raise Katie, right? I mean I live just a couple houses down, so I could baby-sit anytime you want. You know, in case you wanted to go shopping, or get your hair done or some other girl-oriented activity. I always wanted a little sister or niece…" dreamed Weiss who was almost as excited as I was.

"I wouldn't think of leaving you out. You know that Eric! But when was the last time I went shopping of my own free will, got my hair done, or acted like a girlie girl in any way, shape or form?"

As the rest of the group continued to chat, my dad pulled me off to the side.

"Sydney, I wasn't always a good father to you."

"Dad…"

"No, let me finish. I wasn't always there for you, when you needed me and I have never regretted anything more that I do that fact. I want to be part of your life, and I'm honored that you're letting me be here to meet you daughter." For the first time I could remember, my dad looked unsure. "I know you remember her, and love her already and because of that, I love her too. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be here for you and Katie in a way I wasn't when you were little. I would really like it if you two would come over to my house for dinner, once you get Katie settled in."

"I would love to. We would love to. You weren't there very much when I was little, but you always showed up with I needed you, both then and now. I can't thank you enough. I love you Dad."

"I love you too sweetheart. Let's go back to the table."

We were all sitting around the table, talking and laughing when something made me turn around. I saw a man walking through the door holding the hand of a young girl. She was wearing a pink dress, tights and little black shoes. Her brown hair is put in two, slightly messy braids, and she is looking around everywhere, pulling the man through the door, eager for something, or someone. She looks up at me, and I see her green eyes, and I know.

"Mom!"

I ran to meet her half way.

…….

That day was a year and a half ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Katie sat in my lap the whole time we were eating; not that I minded, or even would have let go of her if she wanted to sit on her own. Joey sat down for a little while, but said that he had to catch a plane. He left Katie's bags with me, gave me a phone number to reach him at and went away. We e-mail and see each other occasionally and every other Sunday Katie gives him a call.

At first, Katie was a little shy, but than began joining into the conversation.

"So Sydney, do you need a ride home?" asked Dixon.

"No thanks," I replied. "If it's alright with Katie, we might go shopping to pick up some supplies for her. Maybe get you a bed and pick out a comforter?"

"Okay! What is our house like?" asked Katie.

"Well, it has two bedrooms, one of which will be yours. There is a kitchen and a big couch, and lots and lots of books. We live very close to the beach so we can go there often. We also live close to Eric, so we can visit him a lot too," I say, smiling sweetly at Eric. "Do you have any more questions?"

"Yes. What is my room like? When can we go swimming in the ocean? Is the ocean the same thing as a sea? Are their fish in the ocean? How about turtle? Will we see them? Can we make a sand castle? Will Eric come with us to the beach? Do Mr. Dixon and Mr. Marshall and Ms. Carrie live near us too? Will they come to the beach with us? How about Grandpa?"

"Slow down sweetie," said Eric. "One question at a time. I would love to go to the beach with you and Syd. Dixon, Jack… I mean Grandpa… Marshall and Carrie don't live very near us, but not too far away either. They will probably come swimming with us if we invite them. The ocean is almost the same thing as a sea. The whole general principle of lots of water is the same. There are fish in the ocean, but they hide a lot, so I'm not sure if you're going to see them."

Katie shot him her most brilliant smile. "Thanks Mr. Eric."

And with the simple answering of many questions, a great friendship was born.

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Alright, that's all I'm going to post for now. Leave me a review if you'd like to read more.

Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

Sydney's POV

Katie is a tomboy. She would rather play basketball than dolls, picked out a blue theme for her room, and only wears dresses if she is forced too, like she was when Joey brought her to me. She does have an imaginative side, but I like to think that imagination doesn't have a gender. Most of her friends are boys; however she has one female best friend from pre-school named Megan. I can't say I blame her though, looking at my friends, the only females I really like to spend time with are Carrie, Marshall's wife and Maria. I'll tell more about Maria later.

Eric is wonderful with Katie, and they spend lots of time together. They play sports, watch sports, talk about sports, and curiously enough play "pretend." That is a game that Katie came up with, where they will be anyone from knights from King Arthur's table to mermaids swimming in the sea. I read to Katie a lot, and she bases many of their game plots off the stories she hears, so at one point Eric got the honor of being Laura Ingles Wilder from Little House on the Prairie.

He really loves Katie.

Eric is teaching Katie how to play ice hockey. At first, I didn't want him too, because it was such a strong connection to Vaughn. But when I saw how happy is makes her to be skating, I can't tell her no. As Eric likes to tell me, Katie has me wrapped around her little finger, but I don't mind at all because she has that effect on everybody. For example, look at my dad. He is Jack Bristow. He has worked for the CIA for the majority of his life, is able to reduce even the worst terrorist to a quivering mass and is know for kicking ass. He also gets down on his hands and knees to dig with Katie for buried treasure in the backyard of HIS house when we go over there for dinner. A lot has changed in the last year and a half.

I now work part time as a collage English professor. After using some leave from the CIA I quit, and Dixon supported me every step of the way. I now teach three days a week in the mornings when Katie is at pre-school. Teaching is how I met Maria Pergalizzi; she showed me around on the first day. She is a biology professor, and is one of the nicest, smartest people I have ever met. At first we just went out for coffee together, talking about our lives and students, but gradually became better and better friends. For example, she's spending Thanksgiving at my house this year, which is coming up in a couple weeks.

Another thing you may want to know about Maria is that she has been out on three dates with Weiss, and called me immediately afterwards to tell me what a wonderful time she had, and how sweet Eric was, and what they did together, and how fun it was, and did I think he liked her? What did he mean when he said he "would call"? Has he said anything about her to me? Of course, we could only talk for so long, because then Weiss would call on the other line, wanting to talk about what a wonderful time he had, how charming Maria was…. I hope it works out for them because I can't think of two people who deserve happiness and each other any more than them.

I'm thinking about all these things, half asleep in bed when suddenly I am pounced on. Not by terrorist, not by our dog Sam but by my extremely hyper daughter.

"Mommy! Mommy! It's my birthday! I'm 5! 5 years old! You promised I'd have a surprise today! Mommy? Wake up! It's my birthday!"

As I open my eyes I see sunlight streaming into the room. Katie has stopped bouncing on me in favor for the bed. Her hair is down and wavy how it is only in the morning, and she is wearing an oversized shirt she stole from Eric; her favorite thing to sleep in.

"Happy Birthday!" I say as I lunge for her, swallowing her in a humongous hug. "Yes, I do have a surprise planned for you, but that's not until later today. What do you want to do now?"

"Can we go to the beach? And bring the A Little Princess?" asks Katie. I read to her every night and the book we are currently reading one of my favorite books from when I was a kid, A Little Princess. Everyone who knows Katie can tell she's very advanced for her age in both English and math; so when I read books to her, I pick ones that are at her level.

"That sounds like a great idea. Lets not go swimming right now, because then we'd have to take baths again," and as I see her face fall I add, "but we can go have breakfast with Uncle Eric afterwards."

"Yey! I'll go get the book." She stops at the door and turns around. "Mommy?"

"Yes."

"I really, really love you." With that, she runs off to her room to change and grab her book. We go over to Eric house for breakfast all the time, so I don't call ahead. As I stand up, and a picture on my night stand catches my eye. It was a picture taken last spring at the beach, a candid shot by Marshall. We were celebrating my birthday, and I'm stretch out on the beach, with Eric and Dixon on either side of me. Katie is resting on my stomach, and Maria is sitting just above my head with my dad next to her. The picture shows me being relaxed, peaceful and happy. Even more that painting a picture of the "new" me, this picture captures everything that is important in my life right now; my family and friends.

"Mom! PLEASE hurry up!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I say as I throw on some shorts and a tank top. "Why don't we bring Sam with us? She could use a walk."

"Ok! I'll get her leash."

About six months ago we rescued a black lab who we named Sam. She was very shy at first, but now loves to mess around and play. Katie and I love her, and take her for walks on the beach a lot. Sam is very well trained, so we can just let her off the leash, and she will come when we call her. I think she may be part German Shepard because when I leave the house she guards Katie like the precious treasure she is. Katie brings Sam over to Eric's house a lot, so Eric has befriended her too.

Eric is in heaven, because not only does he have a "niece" now, he has a dog too. I didn't know he would be so wonderful with children and animals. Maria once told me that was how you should judge a man; by how well animals and children like him. I'll have to mention how well he takes care of Katie and Sam to her…

Walking down to the beach, I notice that morning has barely started. The neighbors aren't outside yet, and it's so quiet I can hear the ocean just stepping outside the front door. The water sound very rough today. On the walk to the beach Katie is quiet, but as soon as we get there she lets Sam off her leash and rolls in the sand with her. They tumble about in a mock wrestling match, one they have done many times before. After a while, Sam goes off to chase the birds on the beach, and Katie crawls onto the blanket I've rolled out.

"Will you read to me now?" she asks as she positions herself in my lap.

"Of course," I answer, and take the book out of my bag.

"'Whatever comes,' she said, 'cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it.'"

We sit that way and read for a while, until we can see the sum come up over the edges of the houses we left behind.

……

After dropping Sam off at our house, Katie and I make our way over to Eric's house. We cut through his backyard because it's faster. I see the tree house Eric and Katie built over the summer, and remember the first time I was allowed inside.

_It was the middle of August, and a heat wave had hit LA. Katie had been living with me for about five months. The beach was packed with people trying to stay cool. Katie was on swim team earlier that summer, but it stopped at the end of July. I had been taking Katie to museums, libraries or the movies during the week because they were heavily air conditioned. However it was Saturday, so Katie was outside building with Eric. They hade been making some sort of club house for the last month, and I wasn't allowed to see it until it was done._

_Sticking my head out the window I yelled, "Guys! I have lemonade here, icy, cold lemonade. Come on inside and get some."_

"_We'll be right in," yelled Eric from in their tree._

_A quarter of an hour later the two of them came bursting into the kitchen looking very hot and tired. "You two look bushed," I told them as I served up drinks._

"_We're done! We finished the club house! Come on mom, Eric and I want to show it to you!" _

_We all walked outside after I made Eric and Katie drink some liquid. I climbed up the steps they had built with Eric following close behind. However, Katie didn't use the steps; she just shimmied up the tree using a rope that was tied to one of the higher branches. She beat Eric and me to the top, and climbed in using the door. I was surprised to find a little porch outside the entrance to the "club house," and squatted down, waiting for my next instructions. _

"_I now present, The Club House, built by Eric Weiss and Katie Bristow in honor of their best friend and mom, Sydney Bristow. Mom, I mean Sydney, we welcome you," boomed Katie in her best radio announce voice. I could tell she had practiced this speech with Eric earlier. _

_I stepped inside and was amazed. There were actual hinges and a crude lock on the door to the house, and a table and bench inside. On the bench were several pictures, apparently Katie's efforts to decorate the clubhouse. They had actually painted the walls inside white, and there were lots of windows to let the sun and air in. _

"_So Syd, what do you think?" asked Eric who had been watching Katie excitedly pointing everything out to me._

"_It's wonderful!" I said, pulling the two of them into a hug. "You two did a fantastic job, and I couldn't be more proud."_

"_You're not going to cry or anything, are you?" asked Eric, a little worried at my expression._

"_No, not at all. I'm just so happy that you two like each other enough to make this together."_

"_Like each other?" said Katie, "I LOVE Uncle Eric! This was so much fun; I can't wait to hang out in here."_

"_And I love Katie. She always makes life exciting."_

Katie and I walked into the kitchen and started getting out the ingredients needed for pancakes. It was tradition to eat pancakes for breakfast on her, Eric's or my birthday, and we can't stop tradition now can we?

I hear someone walking in the hallway so I call out, "Hey Eric. It's just me and Katie. We're making the special birthday breakfast, so come on out when you're decent."

I continued pouring pancake mix and milk together, adding chocolate chips because I know Katie loves them. I heard someone come into the door and turned around, and almost dropped the mixing bowl when I saw who it was.

"Vaughn?"

Vaughn's POV:

I walk into the kitchen and see Sydney at the counter.

"Vaughn?" is the only thing she says. In the split second after that, I get a chance to look at her, and she is a sight for soar eyes. She is still as beautiful as when I first met her, more so now as ever before. There is something about her, a certain light or glow that I hadn't seen on her before. However once she sees me, that glow slips away. She slowly turns around and puts the bowl back on the counter and grabs the hand of a child in the room. "We're leaving," she tells the girl.

"But Mom… we didn't see Uncle Eric!" replies the girl. She looks like she's about four or five years old, and has golden brown hair like Sydney. She is wearing jeans and a T-shirt with some dogs on it, and looks up at me with green eyes. Green eyes; like mine.

"Katie we have to go now."

Hair like Sydney's.

"Please mom! It's my birthday and I really want to see Eric!"

Eyes like mine.

"He'll come over later. We are leaving. Now."

Hair like Sydney's, eyes like mine, she's Sydney's daughter, her birthday is today so about five years old. As they go out the door I remember the last conversation Sydney and I had:

"_For the last few months I've been having dreams and just feelings about being pregnant in Covenant custody, and giving birth to a…"_

A daughter. A little girl named Katie. Sydney remembers giving birth to a daughter in Covenant custody, she tried to tell me and I was too pig headed to listen! I've missed five years of my daughters' childhood. I know she is my daughter; I just look at her and I can tell. I know now that Sydney wasn't lying about Lauren, the traitorous b. Syd must have been telling the truth about her daughter too. Our daughter.

What if I was wrong to come back? The look on Sydney's face was almost enough to make me want to go back to the hole I've been hiding in. Right after Syd and I got back from Germany I left. Lauren told me that she had gotten a promotion in Washington DC, and in a way she had. She had been promoted to an even higher position in the Covenant, and told me that there was a promotion for me at Langley too. Since I knew that I had lost Sydney there was no good reason for me to want to stay in LA. We were packed up and on a plane headed for DC two days after I got back.

We lived together in the city for a little over three months, the whole time feeling like we were stuck in some sort of awful play. Lauren played her lines as the devoted, loving, caring wife and I played the role of a supportive, loving husband. But that's all they were; roles played by two people who didn't love each other, reading pretend lines to keep the other unsuspecting.

She slept with Sark. My **wife **slept with the enemy, she was the enemy, and I felt guilty for loving the most perfect creature I have ever known. Lauren Reed was the embodiment of the quality I hated most; betrayal, and I chose her over Sydney. I know it's not fair to blame myself for Sydney's "death" but I should of looked harder, or waited longer, or actually left Lauren instead of just leading Syd on. Lauren twisted my love for Sydney into something ugly, something to be ashamed of, and I hate her more for that than anything else.

After I found out she was working for the Covenant, I was ordered to continue life as normal. Normal! That's what they wanted me to do, just act like it didn't happen, like I hadn't seen footage of her screwing Sark in some hotel room. But that's what I did, for another three months, until she ran away to be a full time Covenant agent. I chased after her for six long months. I couldn't stand the thought that Lauren was out there, doing more harm; I felt it was my job to bring her to justice, to death.

When I finally caught up with her I couldn't kill her. I had Lauren Reed at my mercy and I turned her into the CIA. When I had her cornered, all I could see was Sydney. All I could think about was if I kill Lauren it's over, but what next? Would I just go back to LA and except things to go back to normal? Ideally yes, but it could never happen so easily. I knew that if I did kill Lauren, I could never forgive myself, and if I couldn't forgive myself, then how could I hope to convince Sydney to forgive me?

So in the end, Sydney Bristow saved my ex-wife's life. She saved Lauren Reed by giving me the hope that one day I could win her back. I wandered around Europe for the next four months or so drinking myself into a stupor so that I wouldn't feel the pain. Then I woke up one morning, and realized that there was nothing more for me to feel.

And that I missed Sydney. She always made me feel something; concern or amazement, joy or anger, and love. And that I wanted to feel something again.

So I cleaned up my act, got back in contact with Weiss, got my job back at the CIA. Essentially I was putting my life back together, but there was still something missing.

She never contacted me, but I can't say I blame her. What gave me hope were the few times when I talked to Eric, he always mentioned that Syd was single and not really looking for a boyfriend. Not looking for a lover, someone to trust, to hold on to, to laugh and cry with. I know I made her happy before I disappeared, and I know that I'll never come close to deserving her but I also know that if I convince her to let me, I'll gladly spend the rest of my life making amends for what I have done but making her as happy as possible.

I know that I have caused Sydney pain, and I know there is no easy way for her to forgive me, but we have a daughter. The two of us created life together, a life that was made from love. If I can just remind Syd how much she used to love me, there is a small chance that I can win her back. There is no good reason for her to do so; I've hurt her more than anyone. When I was first planning to come back to LA I wasn't sure if I should try to get her back; if she was better off without me. Yet I know that she makes me a better person, and if given the chance I will do my best to make it up to her. I need Sydney Bristow and I'm pretty sure she needs me too.

When I decided to come back to LA I needed a place to stay, so I called Eric. Since he is still my best friend, what could he do other than offer a place to stay? He has always been there for me, and my daughter… no, she has a name, Katie obviously loves him. That means she know him, and he know her, about her and he never told me! Some friend, but I can understand. Sydney probably asked him not to, and one of the many things I love about Weiss is that he is very loyal, not that I'd ever tell him that. Anyway, I called Weiss a couple days ago, asked him if I could stay at his place and flew into LA yesterday.

I need to sort this out, but before I can, I need all the information I can get.

"WEISS!"

……

Sydney POV:

I see Vaughn and for a moment I feel like I can't move. I turn around, set down what I'm holding and grab Katie's hand. I'm not sure how we get to my house, but the next thing I know is that I'm sitting down on my couch.

"Mommy," whispers Katie cautiously, "what's wrong?"

"It's complicated," I answer.

Pausing a moment, Katie asked, "It's my father, isn't it?"

"Excuse me!?!?!" I coughed. How could she guess? Katie is smarter that your average four, no five year old, but still! All I said at Weiss's house was Vaughn, and I might have mentioned that her fathers name was Vaughn, but I don't think so. I usually referred to him as "your father" and it's not like I talk about him a lot, only when Katie asks questions. I always tell her the truth, or as much of it as I can, but I've tried not to make Vaughn look like a bad guy. I don't want Katie growing up hating her father. Since I haven't given her a picture of Vaughn, how could she know he's her father?

"My dad is the reason you're crying, isn't he? It's like a couple weeks after school started." That would be October 1st. Of course Vaughn couldn't have come back to LA sometime when Katie wouldn't have made the connection; that would be too easy! "You were crying in the middle of the night. I came in and asked you what was wrong and you told me you were remembering my father and that made you sad, remember?"

"What makes you think that your father is the reason I'm sad now?"

"You don't cry except when it involves my dad, and you're crying now," Katie answers as I realize that I am indeed crying.

"Oh Katie, it's very complicated," I tell her, after which I'm at a loss for words.

"It's Ok. You don't have to tell me." Could my daughter be any more perfect? I know that she wants to know why I'm sad. Yet she knows that talking about it will just make me sadder, so she lets it drop. "Can I just sit in your lap for a while? Maybe we could watch a movie."

"I would love that," and I do. I love spending time with Katie, whether it's reading, talking, baking or just watching a movie. It is only 8:30 am, and there is still some time left before her surprise party, so we sit together and watch a small square sponge embark on all sorts of…. adventures. I know that I'll never understand Sponge Bob Square Pants so I stopped trying after the first few episodes.

As Katie watches TV I think about Vaughn, and all I come up with are questions. What is he doing here? Where has he been the last year and a half? Why is he at staying with Eric? How could Eric not tell me about this? What happened to the Lauren?

Does he still love me? I know that I loved Vaughn when we were dating, and even before that when we were working together. I loved the Vaughn who would do anything to keep me from harm and hold me when I cried, but the man married to Lauren Reed wasn't my Vaughn. So the most important question of all, who is the man I saw in Weiss's kitchen?

I need to know that before anything else happens, but I don't want to be hurt. When I found out Vaughn was married, it was all that I could do to keep myself together, and when he wouldn't believe me about Katie I fell apart completely.

Falling apart was what I needed. Once I was totally shattered I was able to pick myself up and put the pieces back together, and lately I've loved my life. I have great friends, I enjoy my job, my relationship with my dad is good and I love my daughter more than life. I admit that something is still missing, but I don't want my life to be screwed up, and the one man who could do that is Vaughn.

If I don't give him the chance, he can't hurt me again.

"Mom?" says Katie. "Can we have breakfast now?"

"Sure," I reply. We go into the kitchen and make pancakes together, finishing what we started at Eric's house. As we're sitting down, eating and talking, I realize that I miss Vaughn.

I don't know what to do.

The story fairy comes more often to thoes who review...

I hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

Vaughn POV:

I talk to Eric for a couple hours, learning all the basics about Sydney and Katie. Syd is a teacher and only works of Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Katie is in day care with her best friend on those days. Sydney has given up drinking except on social occasions and Katie loves to swim. In that little while we talked I learned the outline of the Bristow family, but that isn't enough. I want, no, need to learn more; to fill in the outline with all the colors that I'm sure are in the Bristow's life.

"When can I go talk to Syd?" I ask Eric towards the end of our conversation.

"The best thing would have been for you to have followed her and talked to her right away. Now you're going to have to wait at least until tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Katie's birthday is today, and even though Syd isn't caught up in the 'Super Mom' act she still wants Katie to have a good party so in another hour there will be six sugar crazed kids running around her backyard." It's about noon right now.

"Super Mom?"

"You know, you child has to be the most gifted kid to walk the planet, who may never ever watch TV. They have to be well rounded, so they must be on a sports team and play an instrument and excel in school. The most difficult project in school at this level is playing with clay, but you get the picture. Of course to do all this, the mother of this child must have 101 ways to entertain them on rainy days, always cook gourmet foods for dinner and hire a circus to perform at birthday parties."

"Ah. Super Mom; I get it."

"Yeah, well Syd does want the party to go well so she invited me to help," Eric discloused, hesitantly proud of his ties to the Bristows.

"So you're going over to deal with six five-year-olds and there is no benefit to you?" I inquire.

"Man, you should have more faith in me. Maria will be there, but I would do it anyway."

"Alright, no talking to Syd during the party. When I do go over, what do I say? And who is Maria?"

"That is something you need to figure out yourself," replies Eric. "Gee! Look at the time; I better get going to Syd's house."

"You know you actually said 'gee' right?"

"Shut up."

"Who's Maria?"

"Maria? I don't know who you're talking about," says Eric as he walks out the door. "Stay in the house; I'm not sure if Syd is taking the kids to the beach, and seeing you just walking around would not be good. When you go over, bring flowers. Sydney loves…"

"Tulips," I cut him off. "Her favorite flowers are tulips."

"White roses. Sydney loves roses and she thinks that the white ones look nice in her bedroom. Vaughn, you have been gone a while. Things have changed so you can't just go back to the semi-normal life you walked away from. Sydney and Katie deserve better than that."

I watch as Eric closes the door behind him to go over to celebrate my daughter's birthday. I don't deserve to be there with him and Syd and Katie and whoever Maria is. I walked out on that group of people, that family but I'm going to do whatever I can to deserve to belong again. It would probably be alright for me to go over tonight, after the party to talk to Syd.

Sydney's POV:

I calmed down a little bit after Katie and I ate breakfast. I tried to call Eric to yell at him, but he wouldn't answer the phone. After breakfast, Katie draws some pictures which I then hang on the refrigerator. Something I always wanted, even when I was working in SD-6 was to have pictures that my child (children) drew put up on my refrigerator so that they would know how special they are to me. I love my father, but he wasn't around much when I was growing up and I missed that presence in my life. I lost my mother when Irena faked her death and that couldn't be helped, but I lost my father too and that could have been different.

After making sure Katie was dressed I sent her to go start a movie as I set up the backyard. My house has a small loft with a TV so she won't hear me if I'm in the back yard. I'm having trouble getting a table cloth to stay put when I look up.

"Need some help?" asks Weiss, looking slightly guilty.

"Depends on what kind," I answer. "Helping with the party, setting up or _telling me what's going on_? Actually all three would be nice."

"Syd," he starts, after which he seems at a loss for words.

"Yes," I prompt him.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Why is Vaughn in you house?"

"He's one of my best friends and needed a place to stay."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, neither calm nor irate.

"I know you're upset but…you're not yelling at me. Why is this?" Eric asks.

"One of the things I love most about you is your loyalty. You wound never do anything to purposely hurt me or Katie, so I know that running into Vaughn wasn't planned. I trust you, and if you are going to let Vaughn stay in you house, that's you decision. I don't like it, but it is your call. I understand that Vaughn is your best friend, and I don't want you to give him up for me. The only think I don't understand is why you didn't tell me he was coming so that I could leave the country, or move to Kansas or at least be a little more prepared for running into him."

"He asked me not to tell you."

"Alright," I answer as I throw him a corner of the table cloth. I'm still upset, but not at Eric. I would question him further, but Maria is coming in half an hour, and the kids only a few minutes after that so I don't have time. "I'm still not happy with you."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." There is a pause as we finish setting the table, and then I perch myself on top of it.

"So chief, what's up for today?" asks Eric, trying to lighten the mood.

"Today will be a battle," I joke. "There will be two attacking agents for every one of us. These agents will be small, agile and demanding. They will not stray from their goal; sugar. We will begin our mission at the beach."

"After a period of time, time table one to one and a half hours, we will regroup in your backyard for pizza and cake. There we will also involve the enemy agents in activities such as tag and hide-and-go-seek," replies Eric.

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"We need to get out more."

"Affirmative."

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AN: Since I'm going on a trip soon, and _sweetp92 _has been kind enough to review (hint.hint), I supppose the story fairy can make a slightly longer appearance. Just be sure to tell me what you think! Read, review, and I hope you enjoy!

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Syd POV:

The party is going well and Katie is having a good time. At the last minute Maria convinced me to have the whole party at the beach so that's what we're doing. Eric fished out an old card table from his garage and that is where the cake is set, covered to keep the sand off it. The kids are running around on the sand, building sand castles or splashing each other in the ocean. It is a warm day, even for LA and I'm glad because Katie is really enjoying it.

"_Vaughn_," says the little voice in my head that hasn't been quiet since I ran into him at Eric's house. I just need to breathe deeply; I had this problem when I first got Katie but it went away after a while. Of course Vaughn was across the country at the time, not next door, but I can handle this.

"Mom! Can we eat the birthday cake now?"

"Sure," I reply as I move over to the table. "Everybody gather around!" When adults sing Happy Birthday to each other it has a tendency to sound like screeching cats, but when kids sing it to their peers it actually sounds like music. Katie is sitting in the middle of her many friends smiling and laughing.

"Who wants to open presents?" asks Eric.

"Me!" "I do!" and "Yey!" the kids yell.

"Later, at home, so we don't get sand on them?" I add.

"Mom," whines Katie.

"Who wants to play jump on Eric?" adds Maria, who always has my back.

"WE DO!" yell the kids as they lunge for Weiss. He's used to it and doesn't mind at all, I think. At least he's never said anything and is always smiling so I'm pretty sure it's Ok. Maria pulls me off to the side.

"Alright Syd, what's up?" she inquires.

"Nothing. Why do you ask?"

"You have that look."

"What lo.." I begin to question.

"That look you have during October and at night during major holidays and whenever you see a father playing catch with his daughter, or even when Eric plays hockey with Katie," says Maria interrupting me.

"What have I told you about Katie's father?" I ask as I sit down in the sand.

"That you met him when you worked for the government; he treated you like the treasure you are for about five months which is when Katie was conceived. He is a good man and it's not his fault that when you can back two years later, remembering nothing of the time you were gone, he was married. When you tried to tell him that you two had a daughter he wouldn't listen and left LA soon after," says Maria as she sits down next to me.

"I think it's time I told you more. His name is Michael Vaughn. He had brownish hair and green eyes, like Katie's. He was good friends with Weiss."

"Weiss, Eric Weiss?"

"Yes, that man who is the sweetest man ever because he pulled down the visor when you two were driving and the sun came out," I tease Maria, "One more minor detail." After saying that I take a breathe and pause. "When I went to Eric's house this morning, he _walked into the kitchen_."

"Oh, poor Sydney," says Maria. She leans over and gives me a hug. Our friendship has never been just having fun, but to support each other. She was in an abusive relationship when we met and I did things like go to a divorce lawyer with her and sit in the courtroom as moral support. I'm getting the feeling that what went around is coming back. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Beat up Eric?"

"No, I like Eric. How about beating up this Vaughn guy; I'll do it for you if you want."

"The idea has potential." I look up and see, who else, Vaughn talking to Eric. _What is he doing here?_ "And here is our chance since he is right over there." I feel my heart rate go up and I start to sweat. Seeing Vaughn used to make me feel like that all the time, but now it's not such a good thing. **What is he doing here?**

"If you want me to, I will hurt him."

"Thanks but I wouldn't want to ruin your future relationship with Eric. I need you two to get married, build a white picket fence around his house, and have 2.5 kids and a dog to be friends with Katie and Sam. Besides, Katie's birthday party has gone on without too much incident, so let's try to keep it that way." Vaughn starts to walk over to us. I get one more hug from Maria and go to meet him.

……

Vaughn POV:

I got bored waiting inside Eric's house so I decide to go for a run on the beach. As I run I go over what I'll say to Syd in my head, as well as how she'll respond.

"_Hey, can we talk?"_

No.

"_There's something I need to tell you."_

Go away.

"_I was a total idiot to leave you, to not wait for you and I'll know that you may never forgive me but would you try?" _

No.

Well that accomplished a lot. As I slow down at the end of my run I see a party going on and Eric with about four kids hanging off him. I walk up to them and say, "Hey Eric."

"I told you to stay in the house."

"Glad to see you too man."

"Sydney is here, this is Katie's birthday party, and you are doing EXACTLY, down to the very last point, what I told you not to. No offense." He gently sets the last of the kids down and tells them, "Go play."

"Maybe she won't notice I'm here." I see Syd sitting down about a hundred yards away. She's wearing jean shorts and a T-shirt, her hair is pulled back and she looks more beautiful every time I see her. She's talking to another woman, possibly Maria, when she looks up and sees me. "So much for that idea."

"The worst thing you could do right now is walk away because that would set a precedent for what the rest of your visit would be like. Go talk to her, but not the bear-your-soul talk, just ask when you can have that talk. Don't press her for immediate answers but make sure she says it's alright for you to see her again." Eric usually had good advice when it comes to relationships. He's the CIA's very own Dr. Phil.

"Thanks man, what would we do without you?"

"Well, you would still be miserable in DC instead of miserably nervous here. Sydney's blood pressure would be a lot higher or lower, I'm not sure which and Katie wouldn't know how to play hockey."

"You taught my daughter," I begin.

"GO!" When I turn back again he says, "You're welcome."

I walk towards Sydney hoping for an inspiration of what to say to her. This last thing I expect to happen is for her to meet my halfway, but that's what she does.

"What do you want?" she asks me.

"I wanted to go for a run."

"I'm going to give you a chance to rethink that answer," she answers, obviously not amused.

"To talk to you."

"Why?"

"To get a second chance."

"Why?"

"Because I'm sorry; I know I screwed up. Because I miss you more than I can say. Because I hurt you, which is something I promised myself I'd never do. And because we have a daughter Sydney, a life we created together."

"As far as I'm concerned she's not your daughter; you disowned her when you walked away."

I see Eric making motions with his arms as if to say, "Stop! Remember what I told you!" and that woman Syd was sitting with is glaring at me.

"Don't you want Katie to have a father?"

"Yes." I wait for her to add more, but she remains silent.

"And…." I inquire.

"And nothing. I do what Katie to have a father; I'm just not sure I want it to be you."

"Sydney I am sorry."

"But that doesn't fix it. Saying sorry isn't some magic word that makes everything better. Sorry won't bring Francie or Danny back and sorry won't give me back the two years of my life that I lost. Just because you're sorry doesn't take away what you did to me, and to Katie." Sydney was becomming visibally upset, so I knew I had to slow down.

"I know and I want to make it up to you."

"How will you make it up to us? Why should I let you?" Sydney says as she begins to get visibly upset. "Didn't Eric warn you not to try to talk to me during Katie's party?" Syd is standing there with tears about to fall. She is holding her body away from me, as if she doesn't want to be hurt but looks like she's about to break down any minute. All I want to do is take her into my arms and hold her until she is happy again but I know I can't. She won't let me; but I'm going to try so that next time she will.

"I know you don't want to have this conversation at your daughter's birthday party. Is there another time we could talk?"

"Just go back to where you've been for the last year and a half."

"I'm not going anywhere. We need to talk and I will wait until you give me that chance."

"And if I avoid you forever?"

"Then I'll be waiting a long time." She stares at me as if she's trying to decide if she should risk it.

"You can come over to my house tonight, around 9:30 or so after I put Katie to bed if you leave now." Syd looks like she's unsure she made the right decision but resigned to suffer the consequences if she didn't.

"In that case," I say as I start to leave, "I'll see you tonight."


End file.
